LIFT: Complaints galore

To kick things off for this series, here's a reply from Starhub regarding the DVR issue.










If you bothered to read the reply, you would see that it is a well-crafted letter that seems polite and all. Apparently, Starhub chose to show some goodwill. My take on this? Either the PR department of Starhub has too much free time or Starhub is truly trying to be nice. Next up, yet another disgruntled customer writing a LIFT. This time, the complaint is about Singnet.










My reply:

Dear Mr Lingam,

Honestly, I don't know what you are trying to achieve. On one hand, you "hope that IDA can look into this problem seriously", while on the other hand, you are threatening SingNet by stating that you are not going to renew your contract with them. What has not renewing your contract got to do with IDA's investigations? Are you insinuating that IDA and SingNet has some shady links? It certainly sounds that way.

Network problems occur all the time and can anyone guarantee 100% uptime? For your information, like you, I was affected by the service disruption too. But did I write a letter to bitch about it? NO! Sure, I was frustrated and all but I certainly retained some decency not to write a LIFT like you.

herzberg

Here's another disgruntled customer who wants his Ez-Link card replaced.










My reply:

Dear Mr Tjan,

You aren't very bright, are you? The control station staff has told you that in order to get the card replaced, the card has to be "corrupted or damaged". Effectively, s/he has already told you how to replace your card - by damaging it! If you can't get things done one way, there's always another way. Get it?

Oh, in case you didn't know (and I have no reason to suspect otherwise), Ez-Link and SMRT are separate entities. Therefore, your asking for SMRT to "explain this policy" demonstrates your lack of general knowledge at best and complete ignorance at worst. You really ought to read up more.

herzberg

The next complaint is not aimed at the big boys out there but at a small-time operations in a neighbourhood mall.










My reply:

Dear Mdm Tan,

Don't be so dense; of course the NEA does not condone unhygienic practices. Otherwise, what's the point in having this agency? For asking a question that has an answer that is more obvious than the midday sun, your letter earns itself a place in my LIFT list.

On related note, do you have any witness or pictorial evidence to support your claims? If not, it's really your word against the shop's. What's more, the shop can bring you to court on the basis that you are trying to ruin its reputation. My guess is that you have no evidence to back your allegations up, which is why you are writing a LIFT to the papers, instead of lodging a complaint complete with photographs or witness accounts to the NEA.

Go get a handphone with a built-in camera, so that you will be able to substantiate your wilful stories in future.

herzberg

This LIFT comes from a cinema patron who complains about having a bad movie experience. Frankly, I don't have much to say, except for one thing. Read my reply below.










My reply:

Dear Miss Chee, Neither did the rest of the Straits Times readers pay good money to read your good-for-nothing complain crap, which serves no real purpose, other than to be classified as a LIFT by me.

herzberg

A HDB dweller complains about the amount of refuse she encounters. For once, I shall attempt a parody, i.e. to spoof her letter.










My parody reply:

Dear Miss Priscilla,

It befuddles me every day to see the number of letters published in the Forum section of the Straits Times, taking up the precious space on the papers that could otherwise be used to feature important or interesting news, not to mention the amount of revenue that the papers lost by not inserting full page advertisements.

In the past few days, I saw a sudden deluge of complaint letters, all written by writers who exercised neither restraint nor forethought and some of the letters even sounded threatening.

To add to this, some of the letters are poorly addressed and had no real issue to highlight at all.

I do not understand the rationale of people who behave in a socially irresponsible manner and continue to flood the papers with LIFT. What can the authorities do about this?

herzberg

Well, I know, it's not very well done. But I'll work on that the next time. In the following LIFT, a commuter blames the train for making him late.










My reply:

Dear Mr Quah,

After reading your letter, I guess you can now await a rosy reply from SMRT, apologizing "for the inconvenience caused" and assuring you that "there won't be a next time" and of course, "thanking you for the valuable feedback". But what really earns your letter a place in my LIFT list is not the paltry complaint but your implication of how a "world class transport system" should work.

I believe a world class transport system is basically one that measures up to standards set by leading global systems. However, you seemed to be thinking along the lines of perfect and clockwork operations. Since when is there any tranport system that is flawless, be it "world class" or otherwise?

Furthermore, you knew that the visitors are in town and yet you still chose to write a letter to the papers to publicize the fault of our "world class transport system"; I wonder, what are your intentions? To alert the visitors not to take the train or to tell the train chaps to pull up their socks? Or maybe none? Because you simply wanted the train company to apologize for your inability to be punctual for your appointment.

herzberg

People used to call Singapore a "fine" city, i.e. a city full of fines; I think that's no longer appropriate now. Just look at the LIFT I've shown so far. They should call Singapore a "vocal" city, for the citizens are always using the papers to air their voices. An aggegration of complaining voices, that is.