Happy New Year? Not me I

Once again, one of the most dreaded days, or should I say period, of the year is here again. Yes, yes, it's Lunar New Year or Chinese New Year. These 2 terms are often used interchangeably.

I hate CNY. Well, OK, I don't hate CNY per se, rather, I hate what it implies. You see, when I was an infant, I was unceremoniously left (I'd like to use "abandon" but in retrospect, it didn't quite cut it as "abandon") at my maternal grandma's place. Every CNY eve, when the reunion dinner took place, my father would bring me back to my paternal grandma's place, sans my mother; the two dames had some bad blood between them.

I believe this yearly ritual was carried out even before I could learn to make sense of the world. As I grew older, I started to resent this lousy setup. I would attribute 40% of it to my attachment to my maternal grandma. Another 30% went to my unwillingness to perform something that I didn't understand. Why should I go? Why can't I stay? Why all the hassle? No one told me. Well, OK, I have to admit that part of it was my fault - I didn't ask. Still, I detest the idea of being forced to do something.

The remainding 30% ? It's quite simple. I'm an introvert and I dislike the idea of going to new places and meeting new people. Having to go through the annual ordeal of meeting all the cousins, uncles, aunts and miscellaneous relatives was a truly stressful event for me. That place was so alienating and I felt alone.

The level of resentment had an inverse relationship to my level of co-operation. I knew that there was no escape for me but that didn't mean I gotta make it easy for my father. Tantrums, bratty behaviour, wailings, sulking - you name it, I've done it. In the end, he had to bribe me with toys to get me to go along. Towards the final years of the ritual, I simply obliged and went along with this little charade. No feelings, no emotions - I just did what I had to do.

When my maternal grandma passed away and I had to move in with my parents, the yearly ritual ended abruptly. For nearly a decade, it has been going on. Can you believe it? Man...

Instead of having to spend 30 min of traveling time, the 3 of us sat around the table to enjoy a simple reunion dinner. Had I been 5, I'd have loved this idea. Not anymore. My negative attitude towards the whole event had reached a point that it negated whatever joy that I thought I could derive from having a reunion dinner with my parents. Again, I simply sat there and ate my food. No feelings, no emotions - I just did what I had to do.

With my father dead, the concept of "reunion dinner" went along with him too. My mother would buy some food as offerings to him and I have the luxury of finishing them. Just hours ago, I had ¾ of a can of abalone to myself; it was too tough for my mother's dentures and she couldn't chew well. Do we still eat together? Technically, yes; she eats in the living room and I eat in my room. Different location but same time.

I feel liberated! After so long, I am no longer compelled to go for whatever fucked up reunion dinner. I can have a say as to whether I want or not. I'm no longer a helpless kid, I call the shots now. Screw traditions - I come first now and it's my decision that matters, not others'.

Teaching, anyone?

For the first time in many months, I noticed an ad by MOE. OK, maybe they have been running the ad all the while but I may have missed it as I watch less TV nowadays. Anyway, the theme of the campaign is significantly different from past themes.

Rather than harping on the "joys of teaching" and "the sense of achievement" that one can derive from "moulding the future of the nation", the current selling point is "teaching as a career". Yeah, you heard me right - career.

I always believed that teaching is a noble and important job. Kids spend some 5 - 8 hours in schools a day, for 5 days a week and teachers indeed have a substantial amount of influence over them. What is required of teachers is great, preferably endless, amount of passion to teach and the right mindset towards their jobs. When one thinks of career, advancement, promotion and office politics cum backstabbing comes to mind. So, pray tell me, how does having the mindset of scaling "education-corporate" ladder aid the teachers in nurturing the next generation? Well, if MOE's intention is to expose the kids to the cutthroat reality of the real world, then I guess this would work out pretty fine.

Perhaps the MOE was trying some word play here. You see, other than the usual "career" definition we have in mind, career can also mean "a profession for which one trains and which is undertaken as a permanent calling" (http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/career). Under this definition, teaching is just as it is - a job. Oh, and notice that there's no mention of job advancement or the like? If that's the case, we are definitely going to see a lot of "career teachers" out there who think they have a wonderful "career" ahead.

Whether one wants to interpret MOE's "career" message as the getting of high pay/position or simply being trained and having a job, what matters most is having the right mentality and attitude towards teaching. You are not there just for the pay or the job security; your job demands that you give a 110% to ensure that the kids are well-endowed with your knowledge and experience, as well as to ensure that the kids grow up to be responsible adults, capable of contributing to the society. Say, my line sounds a whole lot better, more truthful and less ambiguous than MOE's line. But look, if they are gonna use my line, who's going to go into teaching?