My legacy of thoughts

Monday, December 27, 2004

Foot for though - Hindsight

I thought I was immue but many events that happened proved otherwise. I was just as vulnerable as anyone else, to the infectious and virulent disease commonly known to many as "peer pressure". Certain variations of this deadly plague was termed "peer influence" but they are essentially the same, orignating from the same parent cause.

I suppose I gave in too easily to the demands and expectations of others, without sparing a thought for myself. That is one fatal mistake. Note to self: Listen and EVALUATE what peers say, not just listen and tag along. Peers are like morphine - brings you relief from great pain in some dosages but makes you addicted and unable to fend for for yourself in the long run.

I think my opinions should prevail most of the time, if not always, over those of my peers.

Foot for thought

Yes. Your eyes are fine. You did not read the title wrongly. Neither is it a mistake. In fact, it was intentional.

I embarked on my longest cycling trip today, cycling all the way from my place to East Coast Park and back. I estimate the total distance to be some 5km; I'm too lazy (and tired) to find a piece of thread, measure the exact distance on the street directory and fufil my perfectionist expectations. An estimate shall suffice, for now.

Of course, I didn't travel alone. Together with Zhiliang, Jason and another of his 2 friends, whom I don't know how to spell their names. For now, they will be referred as F, a bespectacled Chinese, and L, an Indian chap who seemed to be the life of any conversation. L joined us at ECP at a later time while the rest of us met up earlier and went there first.

The route was simple; there is only one straight road to follow. Personally, I've travelled on the exact same route for countless times but none seemed as deadly as the one today. F wanted to cycle on the road, by the kerb, something which I normally don't do and seemed bent on coercing everyone to follow him. Well, he didn't use force nor fancy words, so "coerce" is a tad too strong. "Persuade" would be a better choice.

Anyway, we all took the road. Initially, the traffic was light and it was beginning to feel fun. Then came the dreaded roundabout. The sea of traffic was rough and I felt like a little boat fighting against the incredible currents, ready to be swallowed by the furious waves in a flash. It didn't turned put to be bad and I managed to clear it somehow. Traffic after the roundabout was heavy and I had to keep telling myself to focus on the keeping my wheel on the double yellow lines that seemed to stretch for eternity.

I had a few close brush with death when heavy vehicles passed me at a distance of less than 0.5m. When someone is about to die, his/her life flashes past them and the thought of departing from loved ones appears suddenly; at least, this is what was portrayed on dramas and in books. Well, I experienced none of those, so I guess those "brushes" don't really qualify as "near death brushes". Instead, my mind was filled with fear of losing control of the bicycle and straying into a vehicle's path. I guess a few wild rides would make me stronger but no thanks; I already have enough of it.

I should have never bowed to peer pressure. Eventually, I chose to cycle on the pavement. Partially for safety reasons, partially to escape the piercing sun rays.

We went to Bedok Jetty, which was located within ECP. F had brought 2 fishing rods and decided to fish. Apparently, I wasn't informed of this schedule but it was alright. I get to play around with some fishing equipment for the first time. L managed to snag s small fish and it was our catch of the day. Nothing else came. Other than than the storm, that is.

There was a gathering of dark clouds, looming over the nearby buildings. It crept up on us silently but the winds gave the game away. We noticed the wind getting stronger and warning us to the impending storm. F was adamant and firmly claimed that it could not rain. We tried to persuade him but he was obstinate. Perhaps he was really hard up for a miserable catch. Perhaps he truly believed that the storm would be daunted by his firm resolve. Whatever his opinions, the storm did not bother.

The storm spat at us, showering us with a fine drizzle. We quickly kept everything and made a mad rush for the nearest shelter. I've been caught in a storm at the jetty once and I know it is not a pretty sight. I yelled, "Fucking hell" as I mounted my bicycle, cursing both the spit which had blossomed into a vomit and F's stupidity/blind stubborness. That outburst was sudden and undirected at anyone, so I suppose no one felt offended.

I pedaled as fast as my tired legs could go. My muscles screamed, telling me to stop pushing them further as waves of lactic acid burst into them. The winds howled and threatened to topple me as I fought against the rain. With both the rain and wind against my direction of motion, it was no easy task. My spectacles was smeared with rainwater and blurred vision didn't really helped. I made it to a pavilion which sheltered another 10 or so victims. I was wet and cold, heart pulsing from the sudden burst of workout. Surprisingly, I didn't feel any rage towards F. Instead, I reproach myself not heeding the wind's advice. I am right, always. Even if I'm wrong, I'm quick to change to become right again. How did I ever ended in this sorry state, wet, cold and feeling absolutely silly?

On the way back home, the rain impeded our advancement again. This time, we were fast enough to seek shelter in a petrol station. Over there, F kept urging the group to go. "Let's go", he said. To where? To get ourselves wet and, possibly sick? Or to get ourselves pinned under some heavy truck when we skidded in the wet conditions? I was silent, distancing myself from the group while observing the rain. It wasn't until Zhiliang suggested going to a nearby coffeeshop that woke me up from my privacy. Why didn't I think of that? Find a place to sit, have something to drink and wait the rain out.

We locked our bicycles and went to a coffeeshop opposite the road. When they joked of losing our bicycles to some thief, I secretly hoped that it would happen. Not to them, to me! So that I have a legitimate reason to take a cab back and escape this misery.

The journey back was a lot more easier. They decided to cycle on the pavement, which I'm fine with. Somehow, the pedals seemed alot easier to propel. Perhaps it was the lower gear settings I used. Perhaps it was the thought heading to the comforts of my room that motivated me. Miraclously, my muscles stopped their incessant nagging of pain and fatigue. Zhiliang asked me to go the arcade along with them but I firmly declined his offer. What I need is not more cold air in some dark room while playing Counterstrike; I need a hot shower and plenty of rest to nurse my sore and battered body.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Remember me?

I came across an old classmate from my secondary 4 class yesterday. The last time we saw each other was some 6 years ago. Not surprisingly, she didn't quite get my name right, which is OK with me. In fact, not many people get my name right the first time round. Anyway, that wasn't the point. The point was that she actually remembered me. Although we were in the same class for 2 years (?), the interaction was less than occasional.

I pride myself for my good memory to remember others, be it casual contacts or classmates. I always have this doubt about others. Somehow, I get this weird feeling that they probably won't remember me. However, I was proven wrong on many occasions. Perhaps I should have more faith in others. Perhaps they can remember me, as well as I can remember them. Maybe it's my innate distrust of people at work here, underestimating the abilities of others, while overestimating mine.

Bio electricity II

Just a side note to my previous post. You may be wondering why humans are used in the farms to generate electricity. Why not animals? The same can be achieved - clone lots of animals, cage them up, force them to walk on treadmill and since their intelligence is already low, there is no worry of a concerted attempt to rebel.

Of course, animals can be used. I just thought of using humans as we are bi-pedal, i.e. walks on two legs and thus more space-saving than a quad-pedal animal. In the light of ethical issues and other controvesy, perhaps animals might be a better choice. Ostriches, maybe?