One black morning

What would you do if you woke up one morning to find your pet lying still, dead? I have no idea too.

This morning, I woke up to such a sight. Without wearing my glasses, I proceeded to my pet's cage, intending to concoct yet another vitamin-enriched drink for him. I saw him lying in an odd spot, one that I have never seen him laid before. I found it strange and upon closer inspection, I could see that his head was tilted at an unnatural angle too. I called out to him but there was no response. The ears did not twitch in respond to my call. I lifted the top of the cage open and gingerly touched him; he was stiff, a far cry from his usual furry self. Rigor mortis had already set in. It was then when I realised that my pet rabbit is dead.

As I lowered the hatch, my heart sanked. I quickly went back to my room and put on my glasses to have a better look. There wasn't any difference; he was as still as a stone. For a moment, I was lost. I have no idea what to do. What was left of my rationality told me that I had a 10am lecture to attend and I had better make a move. But I had to tell someone about this. And I did.

There was no ceremonious funeral or a grand anthem being played. I wrapped him up in newspapers and placed the bundle into a plastic bag. As I released the handle of the rubbish chute cover and knew that the bag was destined to be swallowed by the dark, forbidding chute, a part of me perished along with it.

I went back to my room to pick out the notes that I was supposed to bring. As I sat in my chair arranging the notes, my vision blurred. Migraine attack? No, far from it. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I leaned back, crying hard over my loss. I was overwhelmed and choked with emotions. I wanted to scream out loud but all I could voice box could produce was a stifled screech of anguish. Tears flowed freely from my eyes and nose for 15 minutes before subsiding.

While I was in the bus on the way to school, I remembered the words of one my good friends. Choon Lee once told me that Jay Chou's songs are good for those who are heartbroken. I'm pretty sure that he meant those who are hurt in romantic relationships but it didn't matter to me; I am heartbroken.

Of so many Jay Chou's song, I knew only one, Gui Ji. Literally, it means "Track Trail", as in the trails of railway tracks. I found the chorus part to describe my feelings the best. Below is the excerpt: (You will need to set the character encoding of your browser to Chinese Simplified to read it.)

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A song to express grief over a pet? I bet Jay Chou never saw it coming when he composed this song. Nonetheless, I did feel better, so Choon Lee, if you are reading this, thanks for the advice.

As stated in the movie, "Irreversible", "Time will destroy all". Indeed, in time to come, I'll learn to cope with the grief. But for now, I'm still learning. So long, my friend, my dear pet, Xiao Hei. If there is reincarnation, may you have a better next life.